Hello everyone! I started wearing lolita by the end of April 2014 and now that I've completed one year in the fashion I couldn't let the occasion pass so I decided to do a post about my expectations, what has changed through my first year as a lolita and what I learned since the very first day!
As I said on my 2nd post what got me into the fashion was Honey Cake print I saw and fell in love with.When I found out what Angelic Pretty dresses cost I thought it was some kind of joke, I remember being so shocked and not understanding why they were so expensive. Nowadays after seeing the brand quality for myself I can tell that brand dresses are not over priced, they're just really high quality, however I never paid more than retail price for a piece and I mostly likely won't.
When I was trying to build a wardrobe it was pretty clear to me that I wouldn't be able to afford buying brand-only even if 2nd hand so I bought some stuff from Bodyline.
Now I'm in the process of replacing this Bodyline with brand and nice off-brand and I don't intend to buy clothes from Bodyline ever again. I'll keep my BL shoes though and might buy more shoes from them in the future. I still have one blouse from Bodyline that I'll keep for a while and two skirts that I'm going to sell.
And with this come one of the first lessons I learned as a lolita: each and everyone can make their own personal choices about what they want wear and those choices are none of my business.
I've seen what in my opinion were great coords entirely handmade, off-brand, etc and I've seen just as many bad head-to-toe brand coords as I've seen beautiful and well-put ones. Brand or not it doesn't matter, what matters is if the lolita who's wearing it is happy and comfortable and if she is, it's okay, I don't have to like her outfit, I don't have to pretend I like it either, but if I have a negative opinion and the person in question didn't ask my thoughts on what she's wearing I'm ought to keep my opinions to myself.
From now on I want to build a wardrobe with brand main pieces and off-brand, handmade or brand as well accessories, blouses, shoes, etc. That's what I chose for myself and it doesn't mean I think I'm a better lolita than girls who wear Bodyline or everything in brand sets. Each lolita knows what works best for her/him, what they can't afford etc. Honestly I cannot afford buying the newest brand releases but I have patience enough to see what I can grab on Closet Child and that's how I wanna build my wardrobe. So lesson number one is: mind your own outfits and choices and let people be happy.
The 2nd lesson I learned the hard way: don't expect that everyone will want to be friends with you. When I went to my first meet-up I barely knew anyone and I guess that are three mostly likely ways newbie lolitas will act when they first start attending meetings:
a-) They will be way too shy to approach anyone so they will feel left-out/out of place (if you don't try talking to anyone don't expect that people will miraculously come talk to you)
b-) They will try talking and befriending a lot of people but may get disappointed when this people don't respond with the same enthusiasm
c-)They will understand that it takes time to blend in and make friends (and that it will take even more time if you make no effort at all)
When I went to my first meetings I was very much a type "a" I wanted to talk to people and make friends but I was way too shy (I still am a little with the lolitas I haven't talked much already) so I 'd spend most part of the meetings feeling very alone and bored to the point I didn't even want to attend them anymore. My boyfriend encouraged me to keep going to meetings and try talking to people and now I can say I'm pretty comfortable around the other lolitas in my comm and that I had great fun in all recent meetings I've been to.
What the "b" type of newbie lolitas don't seem to understand is that if everyone in a meeting was a newcomer it would be way easier to make friends, but some lolitas have been around for years and already made bonds with certain people and they don't feel the need to make more friends just 'cause. Also if you want to be friends with a lolita I don't think you'll go very far if the interest for the fashion is the only thing you have in common with her. I'd say just be yourself and will sure find some people with similar tastes you'll eventually be friends with, don't try too hard because you might push people even further away from you.
I wish I had social skills enough to be a ''c'' type when I first started, someone who goes with the flow but doesn't expect to make friends by just sitting in a corner and pretending to be a plant the whole meeting.
So seems like I'm not a newbie anymore, I still have a lot to learn and I'm far from being an experienced lolita, you could say I'm a "junior lolita" now haha. What you guys can expect from now on is that: I'll be attending more meetings. I'll be wearing better coords now that my wardrobe has grown considerably. Oh yeah that's it guys, all the stuff that I've been buying for the last 5 or 6 months is about to arriveee, I think I'll get it all by the end of next week because my boyfriend's mom is coming back from Japan, I have so much stuff to work with now so do expect to see me evolve greatly in this fashion this year and I'll keep improving as much as I can.
I'm happy I got into Lolita although it's a bit harsh sometimes. I have a new (and much poofier) petticoat on the way, I have ideas, I have inspiration and I want to create beautiful coordinates and feel like a princess.
Thank you for reading ♡